Season 4. Episode 1. How Krysta Maravilla busted out of her old life and became a writer (and her adventures along the way)

Krysta Maravilla had a fine life. She worked in the mental health field and did well. She owned her own house. But something was missing. She had a dream -- literally. One night she had a detailed dream (and she rarely remembered her dreams). It ended up changing her life. She became, as she puts it,  a Wanderer, and she began to unravel her old life and move into her new life as a writer.

She gave up her job, rented out her house, and hit the road with various family and friends and explored and climbed mountains, and had wonderful adventures. 

Then she went through the grueling process of actually writing and re-writing a book. Along the way, she met other supportive writers and got support from a writing coach and a great editor. 

How did she make the  change? Krysta says:

"I began making small changes. Gratitude journals at night led to journaling, reiki, sound healing, counseling, and meditating. Sparks of hope burst into my life.

I attended to the things that made me feel alive, balanced, playful. My momentum grew.

I rented my house out and gave away most of my stuff. I traveled — haphazardly across the states, east to west coast, and back again. I allowed my life to breathe and become limber, discarding identities, beliefs, and self-created labels.

What happens when you surrender to the unknown?

I surrendered to the unknown, finding joy, and a deeper level of self-trust and confidence.

I began collecting love stories. This new project revealed lingering fears deep within me, fears of having a voice, of using it, and of being heard and seen.
As I moved through this fear, I fell in love with writing.

What happens when you catch sight of a dream?

I rolled up my sleeves and dove into writing Spark. It was torturous. It was expansive. I cried. I laughed. I ate a lot of Nutella. I wrote “The End.”

What if the end is The Beginning?
I am a different person than I was ten years ago. A new person.

Soaring. Trusting. Embracing the marvel of who I am and courageously, insistently aligning with my ever-shifting true north."

Krysta's first book in her fantasy trilogy is called "Spark" and  is out now on Amazon.

You can read about and contact Krysta on her website:
https://krystamaravilla.com/about-krysta/

The Writing Facebook group that Krysta mentioned is:
20 books to 50 thousand:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/20Booksto50k

You can email her using the form on her website or directly at:
hello@krystamaravilla.com

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!
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https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIHYKJ0fBDIF7hzWCu7b396GMJU-2qb7h

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Original music "Saturday Sway" by Brendan Talian

Transcript

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Hello, you've reached the storied human podcast hosted by me Lynne Thompson. Each week I share a story, either an interview with someone fascinating, or short solo from me. I love your stories, and I learned so much from them. Hopefully you will too. So welcome. If you are new here, I'm so happy to have you. If you are a returning listener, many things. So here it is the next episode of The Story human Hello, and welcome to the story human. I'm Lynne Thompson and today I have a really interesting author guest, Krista Malaviya. She's an author, a wanderer, a believer of all possibilities, and her name means marvelous. So I think that has like a clue in it for her whole attitude towards life, which I haven't known her long, but I can tell that that's definitely her theme. She has written the coolest fantasy novel I love. I love fantasy books. And this one is a killer. It's called spark. And it's the first book in a new adult fantasy series features action packed scenes, compelling characters, and my favorite, a strong heroine. Now, how do you say that heroines name? Is it fair? I call her fee. Okay, good. I'm gonna make sure I say it. Right. And welcome to you. It's so great to have you. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. I was so excited. And I'm especially excited because nobody can hear it. But you're very far away. And we're in one of my favorite countries. Tell us where you are. Right now. I'm in a coastal town in Valencia, Spain. I'm a wanderer. I try to get about and where were you born? I was born in Massachusetts. Okay, so you are from here? And how did you get to Spain? Like how does? How did you become such a wanderer? So, this, this goes, it's a little bit of a long tail, me loves long tales here at story human. Okay, so I am, I started my journey, my real healing journey. In 2014 15. At the time, I was working full time, my backgrounds in mental health, working full time, I owned a house, I'm single, I tend to I do, I'm a I'm kind of a single, consolidated Gao. I was really burned out. And so eventually it came to a point where I had to make a decision if I wanted to change being miserable, or continue on. And so that actually boils down to a question like constantly ask myself, do I want to thrive? Or do I want to wither and then that timeframe, in 2015, two things happen. One, I had a dream. And that dream was so amazing, and I normally don't dream. So I will give you the end of the dream because it has nothing to do with Spark though I did try to include it and my editor was like, no go it's not a fly. She has a dream in the beginning, right? She has a recurring dream. She does she does have a recurring this this dream is a I affair ended the dream, find my own spaceship, but I'm so sorry. I'm okay. Hello. I am doggie sitting in a very close right now that made a noise. I made my dream. I'm flying my own small spaceship. And I just had dropped off my mom in the string. But it wasn't my mom of this life. I was a single child, I was an only child of a single mom in that dream. And I felt so good. I was so happy. Like my mom knew I was okay. I was flying back and doing the thing that I was feeling I was supposed to be doing. I was flying home spaceship through space. It was awesome. And I left that dream knowing I need to write it. And then I also needed to learn how to write which is what Spark is about. But all simultaneously the other side of what was happening was my miserable ability was coming to a head and my soul was telling me that I needed to leave New Hampshire and I thought that California was going to be the spot and so I did all of the things you know, look for a job apply for the jobs just etc etc etc to find The spot that would be my next call, but after months and months and months and months of nothing, I decided that I was just going to quit my job, I was going to rent out my whole house again. Well, the house, I gave almost everything I own the way. And I planned three months on the road. The first month was with one of my good, good friends, she went to she rented the RV I followed in my car, and and then the next two months, I was just traveling around California and I'll find my spot, I'll just a town will call to my soul. And that's gonna be it. And so I was really scary when I decided to actually leave that like when I was made, because somewhere along the healing journey for me, integrity became a really big part. So what I would say to myself, and what I say to you, means that I have to do it like so I'm not saying things lightly anymore. There are times where I have to be like, I'm sorry, I overestimated and that no longer fits what I'm going to do. But most of the time, especially when it comes to my wanderings and my own thriveability it, stick with it. So by saying it, I just, I left, I follow my integrity. And you if I didn't do this, I'd read it and I'd be miserable, miserable, I'd never change. And what ended up being what was supposed to be three months ended up being I want to say nine to 10 I ended up having a first month with my girlfriend and her four month old daughter, her three month old son and and our pair were just traveling back and forth. And then she went back and did her life. Right and and then I continued onward with other things. And in that in that timeframe, I started to unpack all of these beliefs and these identities and these layers. And I tried to write my dream. I tried to sit down and write it. And then I realized I was a horrible writer, I have no idea what the heck that is straight that and I say as you read in my my current book, there's a cast of characters. So in, in my dream, there's a cast of characters, but it's also much more diverse. And so I am, I knew I like I couldn't keep the dream justice by trying. And what I really needed to do is play, it's ingrained. And this is what I need to do break down a bit is the ingrained belief that I have to be productive. I have to use my time to be doing things like productive things. And so the polling is just as productive is just as filling your cup anyway, so I ended up playing and hitting like about 35 national parks. So high gain. Yeah, I went down, I had an opportunity to go to Costa Rica, I had a I met my friend Valerie in Morocco, and we hiked up to go like we did. It was great. It was so fabulous. And the whole time I just unraveled and unraveled. And so then I came back to New Hampshire, I ended up swinging back around. And I at that point found the artists way with Julia Cameron. And I started doing morning pages religiously. That's such a great book. Yeah, it's you. Yeah, I remember her style avoiding. I worked in, as I said, like background in mental health. So I've worked in addictions. And I've worked in the into, like, I just love the way specifically the addictions because I feel like, there's just this, it could be this rigid belief system. And she just blends it in so beautifully. And she reminds me of like, She reminds me a little bit of like, just the meeting groups and just and I highly recommend, not not just for like morning pages, but it's just for any creative that wants to reignite their relationship with with, with who they are in a different way. That's great advice. And, you know, we were I was just talking to someone about how people think of creative, like, they think they're not creative. But creative can be just the way you think. You don't have to write or paint or sculpt. You could be an incredibly creative problem solver, or you could be this just incredibly, you know, the way you see the world. So I think it's a great book for everybody. I'm going to put that in the show notes. That's a great idea. Yay. I so the other thing that I had have to you know rejoin society because funds and savings so long and so I did that I made sure to find employment that was Remote because at that point, the idea, and I'm a little dramatic. So like the idea that I had to be locked in and imprisoned in like New Hampshire, which is over an exaggeration to be real. But it feels that way. If I had to get a job that was like, no, no, you need to be here nine to five, or in my life had probably been longer than that. And I just I couldn't, I think I replied to a job once, and it was after the trip. And they were like, Oh, you can do it, you can work all these hours, but you have to role model only taking two weeks of vacation to your staff, and you can't take them together. And I was like, and you want to crush my soul. So we're not. I'm not a role model that we. So I ended up getting a job that was remote, and I was able to move about and spend time in like Austin, Texas, or North Carolina, Tennessee. I ended up leaving my job in 2021. But while I was writing Spark, it started literally it started the month I got the job. So and it was more my I swear as more my morning pages just urging me to do it, like sit down. And so I did, I sat down and I had no idea what I was going to write because it'd be my dream. But as I said, like earlier that I I wanted to incorporate my dreams. So how into the book. But that's my editor didn't like that. So well, I probably did really poorly, let's just be real. And then, when I sat down to write the book, I was under this mindset that I don't know how to write. And so I expected the book to be a failure. And I don't, but it's changed, like the sentience and the energy has has changed, but draft one was horrible. Draft one, my poor editor got it and she's supposed to do a developmental edit. And she's like, endless just downgrade this team editorial assessment and so many things you can work on here. So kind. So I've very graciously and very gratefully learned a lot from all of my editors involved. But anyway, so I like Fabio, I called the book Fabio the whole time. Because Fabio is like my little acronym, but just it's rolled off the tongue better because it really became more of the role of tongue and a playful role of the tongue. And a lot of people thought I was dating a Fabio. Yeah, there's times that There's that famous like, what did they call him? The model for a lot of romance novels with a long hair, and he's a little bit older now. But what a hunk some people think of that, too. You know, what I'm very impressed with is that that didn't stop you. When you wrote your first draft. And it needed so much work. And you were like, right, it didn't stop you. You just were like, Okay, I'll keep going. And that's so important, right? That's so important. Like, we can't just instantly have something that's good. We have to keep working. But sometimes I think we're taught like, literally, we're taught in America like oh, well, that's not for you. You know, you, you fall a little bit once, right? And everybody goes, Oh, well, I guess that's not for me. But you didn't say that to yourself. You were like, Okay, I'll, I'll learn this. Yes. Now, I learned it with caveats. So my ego was really fragile. So I wasn't in that timeframe, I had to pull back from reading any good literature. Let me rephrase that. I took from reading the like the literature that I write like fantasy literature, to reading paranormal romance, because I couldn't write it, I couldn't read my genre, because I would compare myself too much. And then I always found myself lacking, and it would be a block. And so I like as I anything that got in the way of me creating this. Moving forward in the progression of finishing this book and finishing it to a level that I felt was decent. I would I would just Alright, well I can't do that and I'll do this. And if that like I found some way to shift around it or just tantrum through it. I'll just be real too. This is all connected to that decision to really venture out and really put yourself out in the world and try arrival, and break that connection to that conventional world. I feel like you sent your soul a message like I'm ready. And by breaking from your job and getting out there, you know, it's hard to think differently and start a different venture like writing a book unless you really do change your whole thing. And that's what you did. I feel like you told your subconscious, like, We're different now. Come on, you're like you sort of stoke the fires, and then started the book. It's so cool. Because you did that for yourself. And you woke yourself up and you're like, I'm not going back. And also, what I'm hearing is that you did you just didn't let it stop you. You said, I can see and feel this book. I will get there. I might have to work on several drafts, but I don't care. I mean, if you talk to my family, they'd be like, I remind. A lot of carry, like crying and a lot of variation. And then also a lot of happiness and joy, too. Yeah. But there's the negative is very prominent. Movies very about us. Yeah. And so and maybe they're stuck in there. You know, there's a fearful kind of, you got to do things this way. And they're worried about you. And they often attach the crazy word. Yes, I know. I ran off to Spain, right after college. And I lived there and taught English and people thought I was nuts. It was a long time ago. But I wasn't nuts. It was such a cool experience. So I totally like in a small way, get what you're saying. Yeah. And to be fair to my family, they're actually very supportive. They're wonderful. But they were a little worried, right? But it's kind of like, you know, I'm a mom. And that's what I do. I worry about them. But yes, I love the development of this whole huge shift in your life, you shifted your own life like huge in a huge way. And just to kind of like hone in on that. It's not a one time shift. It's about continuous unraveling. And I love the word unraveling, because there is something to unravel, right? We're taught all these rules in the way to live. And you were right there with it. You had a job nine to five you owned a house. You knew how to do it. Right. You're right. You have to it's a process. Yeah, I actually think so. I'm gonna share that this is on the agenda. Just I don't know where it'll be. But I have a book in me called unraveling. You should write unraveling. Oh my gosh, that's so cool. Yeah, yeah. The. So this is just some fun thing. I love to stop by sidekicks, I just think it's the funnest thing. Especially when I wasn't in tune. Nowadays, I go in there like this is what's happening. Like, I already knew that. But back then, I didn't I wasn't it wasn't as clear in my channel in my intuitive guidance system. And so I am would stop by all sorts of roadside psychics while I was in it, like Angel healers, that or whatever, anything I didn't get along. And what was really cool, it could have been like a little phone call Angel healing from some referral, or like a like a, like a slick car salesman where I almost want to like pick a shot and energetic shower after seeing them. They all I should do writing down my story, because I'm going to write it. All of them not knowing anything about me. Like said this, and I thought it was the coolest. It obviously grounded in me. I used to know that. So there was this. I did track the timeframe because I was going through a lot of national parks and I was doing a lot of unraveling. And so I think it's a it's on the docket. That's so cool. I just I love that. I think there are people that may look like shysters, right, but there's an element to them where they can actually I just seen this myself, like one of the best readings I ever got was from this woman in a house dress sitting in like the suburbs. And she talked like this. She's like, hon, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was just so put off. I was like, What could this person have to tell me I was just really kind of judgmental. But people had recommended her highly and she gave me the most amazing reading. So my point is, you just never know who's connected. Right? You can't tell it can't tell. I think that's so they all said that. I love that they all said the same thing to you. That so and there is this like feeling that you know, source or God or whatever, speaks through other people, you know, and and so source was telling you Yeah, you're supposed to do this using all these people to tell you that that's another way to look at it was there's these that's a beautiful message that kept coming through. Yes, absolutely. that's really powerful. I can't wait to read the next book. That can be a standalone probably. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you've got enough there to do a memoir. And it would be really fascinating. I mean, I fascinated already, that you had the bravery, it's really very brave to do what you did. Let's not skip over that. You know, I will, very, if I go back to that day, when I left in 2016, I was shaking. In my car, I had a packed knife, my parents and my sister and my 11th month nephew, we're waiting to die. Shaking, but I'm not gonna cry, it's not gonna be the worst decision. They're gonna do. Like I said, I'd do this, I'm going to do this. If it's a failure, it's fine. I'm back, like, but I was I was literally trembling. And I find nowadays that fear for me, especially this is literally not a life or death situation, that's very different. If it's, if it's a safety thing. But fear, for me is a great guidance system. Because when I get a big burst of like, Oh, I know, I need to lean into it. And I know, I need to, like, figure out a new relationship with that fear and that element of whatever it is, because I need to be there. That's so cool. That's it's the way it works, right? What we're afraid of is where we're supposed to go. But that's very hard to do. Like you. A lot of us are dissatisfied with our jobs or our life or feeling like we need a change. But how did you like when you go back to that moment of like, I need to change this up? What made you think that like, was there a turning point? Because I can't, I can tell you that I went through what I refer to as a dark night of the soul. Wandering Yeah, usually there's something right. Yeah. And so it wasn't a one night or one thought. But it was a like, well, what is my I always struggled with my purpose, like, What is my purpose? What am I like? I love helping people. But But that wasn't, wasn't fooling me. It was emptying. And that's amazingly interesting, because you wealthy people, that's an incredible profession. But it I love that you were brave enough to look and say, Wait a minute, though. I'm not being filled. I'm not being helped. And a lot of people feel that way. But they don't do what you did. So it's pretty cool. And I will say that those questions that I did bring up in the beginning, like, do I want to whether or do I want to thrive? Somewhere along the line? I literally had to boil it down to that simple question. Yes. When I sit down in a space, especially with some of the bigger decisions, like when I left my job in 2021, do I want to wither or do I want to thrive and I knew that staying there was everything I was doing, I was already burnt out again, I wasn't going to thrive, and I wasn't willing to wither ever. So that's no longer an option. I love feeling good in my body, my mind and my soul in all of the spaces. And so I take a lot of, I do a lot of things to make sure that I do feel good, like getting up we were talking about earlier, probably before the podcast that that I get up early, so I can do my morning pages with make me feel good. I then work out which makes me feel good. I will then drink a lot of water, which makes me feel good, I will then eat and take my vitamins also feel good. I track my sleep. I'm not crazy for it. But I know that like let's say if i i intermittently fast typically. So I've tried to like stop eating at five. And I do that because I sleep better. My body feels better. They're like, I can track my heart rate and all of the things and that's better. But so if I eat later, everything spikes. Anyway, so I like there's, there's science to me. And like there's like this data driven side of me. And then there's this really like theory of like, yeah, that's just the blue side. Yeah. I love that. I love all that to the data driven and the tracking because we have to love ourselves, you know, that's where it all starts. And that's to me self love is really taking good care of yourself doing what you need to do to feel well. And we're no good to anybody else and we can't love fully if we don't love ourselves. So you're like, you got it together, you know, you're taking care of yourself. And that's, you know, if you don't who's gonna do that? Nobody. Nobody's coming to my rescue. Period. I get to be the hero in my own journey. And it's, it can be scary at times. It can be all sorts of things. Everything but at the end of the day, it's mine. Hold and cherish and to like, to really ingredient say that I looked, I looked at my shadows I yeah, I didn't know I'm Trump did. And they're not they're not as bad as you worked through it. I'm also curious that as you wandered around and did new things and saw new things, did you meet new people? Like, do you have friends that are different now? I do have different friends and I Yeah, and I feel like, every place I've gone to I've typically picked up a friend or two. I'm very reclusive. You said, I'm gonna just, it doesn't look like it because I'm actually pretty chatty. And I can be an introvert, but I need a lot of time alone, especially if I'm writing and, and then I was working a lot full time. So there was, I just needed all the time. But, um, but I typically. So when I do meet people, and I do connect, it's, it's, it's lovely. And I have in all of the places I have. And you meet different people, when you're putting out a different frequency, you know, you're just, you're in a whole different place. And so you're attracting different people. And I noticed, the few times I've traveled alone, that you meet people that are traveling, like it's so cool, and you just instantly start talking, it's just a different connection. Because I like a lot of time alone, too. But there's something different about when you're out there. And you're, you know, people just find you like I found people that were traveling, and I would just start chatting them up. It's just it's easier to engage with somebody when you're alone. Okay, you easy like just more fluidly. It's just it's easier. But when you have a group with you, or just one of the person that changes the dynamic, and then typically you're not socializing other people as well, and so true. Yeah, I love I do. I do love traveling. And I love connecting. And you never know, I can meet a soul because I was in Washington before this. So I can meet a soul in Washington and have her connection, like still follow me up to Scotland and possibly, he just, it's great. It is. It's lovely, though. Yeah. So when did you start the book? Like how did that fit in with all this wandering and reconfiguring of your life? Okay, so I got back to New Hampshire, and I started the morning pages. And then I started writing the book in 2018. April 2018. The end of that month, I, I agreed to a full time remote employment too. So simultaneously, of course, I took things on. And I've had remote work, I missed that I'm sorry. While I was working for an insurance company reviewing medical necessity for people staying inpatient, actually, that Job was emergency rooms, whether they would go in from if they met medical necessity to go inpatient or partial. Anyway, so my job, I actually really did like it, but it was a lot of heavy work. You just heard heavy stories all the time. Yeah, it was, like, you're not gonna hear somebody save somebody's life or something. Because, or like, you're gonna give news once in a while. It's not gonna weigh on you. Yeah, I would imagine, right way. It's all it's all reasons why people need to stay a patient because they're unwell. Their background history, their living situation, the whole thing. And anyway, and it was it was I think, especially Oh, it was especially tough on the emergency room. So I ended up switching to concurrent review, which means I talked to hospitals instead of be the emergency room department, because those they I was working with them specific state Medicaid, Medicaid at the time, and it was, I mean, the kids stories. Oh, my gosh, I just my heart would break with. Yeah, you had to. It was tough. I mean, the whole story, everything, but it was just tough. So but as I said, I didn't mind the job, and I got to, I got to travel while I worked. And then I got to write my first draft in 2018 took a year. I want to say it was about 175,000 words with a backstory to it. I don't know what I submitted to my editor, but she was kind enough to say, try again. And then if I'm telling my reading coach as I was gearing up to try again, and this is a side note that I delayed me a little bit at the time I was collecting people's love stories. I feel like yeah, love for me. It comes in so many different forms in different shapes. And it's just beautiful, right? It's like the rainbow. It's a spectrum. And the when I ask people for their love stories, typically I get a lot like, I don't have a love story I'm not you know, married or oral, I can like to tell you about my romantic love story that might have anyway, it's always romantic based typically. And so one of my goals was to really kind of induce or not induce, but inspire people to see that love is everywhere, is everywhere, we just have to be on that frequency of looking for it. And it could be a smile with a micro stranger, micro smile with a stranger, and that can shift their day. Their lives. I've heard stories of people being suicidal, and then they see somebody smile at them, and literally stop them from doing it. Like so the power that the smile has to a stranger period is so beautiful. Anyway, says collecting love stories, but then COVID hit and people got scared. And it was already a lot of like I was already been a budding like my ability to like, oh, well getting a love story and doing all these things and doing the social media, which was a strain for me all the strain and the expansion. So I gave up the love stories. And I focus on on the actual story story. So I started writing again in probably March of 2020. And wrote the full draft all the way through. I don't know when I finished that. But it was done with 203,000 words. Oh, I do. I think it was I think it was finished in right before December because I handed it off to a different editing team. To in in December. Wow. And then they took I trimmed it down Kelly helped me trim it down. Amazing, amazing soul. She, we got it down like 193 and then send it off because they charge you per word. No. They do think. Yeah. So I spent a lot of money on editors. But I've learned a lot. And yeah, the Madden team, they took they actually helped me manage for a very long time. But they gave me fabulous, fabulous feedback. One of them highlighted every single repeat word I had in a manuscript. And then Oh, yeah. And then they went ahead and told me what words I leaned heavily on. So not only was it it was so much, I literally don't like the word that anymore. I think I think I'm getting a little bit more lenient, because the shock and trauma of like seeing all those acts has worn a little bit. But I was I used words very heavily that by pointing it out in the way that they did help level up my craft, because then they were like, if you use Look, you're not describing or telling us but if you describe and if you do x, y, z, then you're doing it and then you're you're engaging us in the story. You're and so they, in a way it that particular edit, particularly was one of the hardest I've ever experienced, but also the best because because now you have a you can you eat my images that are my world building is better, my writing is better, everything's better. And so and then the other gentleman that helped me with more world building, and that that year, I was finally still fragile ego able enough to go into a writing class for the first time and starting trying to learn the craft who was too scared to learn before I just needed to like I just need to go soil I need to write I do. Don't tell me how to do it better because I can do better. I just Just do it. I was too scared. I know. Yeah. Yeah. And then with their advice, I sat down for version three. So version three, I relocated to Asheville, North Carolina, to work full time and to write and I relocated. I just wandered for a few months. And it's pretty, it's really beautiful, really beautiful. And the people are They're lovely. And so I ended up staying there and I worked full time and I wrote and that's where Like my, my struggle descriptions, and so I get up, sometimes I would really resist descriptions and creating scenes. Now I find it pleasurable. And I'm almost sad when a scene doesn't like, really. So, like one of my books in the novella, I have a scene where we hone in on a certain thing. And then it kind of travels a little bit through chapters, but you get this good feeling of it. And it's, and I really love that there's a sensation in my chest that happens when I when I find an imagery like that, that can pull this theme together and the thoughts together. Anyway. So it was, it was only going to lean into that. But also, I somewhere in that space, I realized the story wasn't my story. It was the story, me. And that transition also helped me like move away from the perfectionism and like, really open myself up, I was doing a lot of meditation at the time, to what is coming through, like, what do you want me to say? And what is important for your voice? And that needs to be heard to others? And, but I mean, I did burn out again. And that's where I decided, if I had to make a choice, do I want to retire? Or do I want to drive because my work wasn't able to accommodate reducing my hours when I asked, and, and so I decided to thrive, and I left that employment and took took a whole new level of fear. And here I am now. I mean, I still walk in fear. But it's just, I think that the adventurous part, I feel supported, I guess you could say like, I don't think that I will fail. I think I'll just learn, I don't think I'll ever go with my needs met, I might just not get what I want sometimes. Like, you know, there's Yeah, I'm going to be cared for. And that not because I need somebody caring for me, but because it will come to me when I need it. kind of mentality and it's showing up time and time again. And so why would I in that. But, but I burnt out and so I sent draft number three to my editor. And I knew something was wrong with the middle, I knew something was wrong with middle and so I was hoping she'd give me feedback on the middle. And I finished about like three fourths of that draft and I sent it with the old ending that and edited. And so she got back to me after I left my job in 2021 with the feedback and I thought it'd be a quick turnaround. But it was not so quick. There was two things that she suggested one was scratch the whole story and write it in terms of like like somebody's going to a magical Academy kind of thing. And I was like that's not my story that is not feasible. No, and then the other was pull out the entire middle and there was a character in there that I loved and a different story it got too complicated the stories and so pull up a whole middle and then patch it together and and like do that so I decided to go that way because you know it did need it needed help. I knew that and she also she also was like Christie you can take that whole middle and you can use it in Book Two I love it I'm really grateful for the amazing humans I work for but yeah, and so she so that it but but it creatively like tore out my heart in addition to the fact that I was already so scared with leaving my job and putting myself out to be this full time writer and then not only that, like I get branding photos which people might be like well you glammed up and like you know look pretty oh that was scary as heck for me because I'm not used to putting myself out there I would you know, be that moment not leave going grocery shopping can be a hardship for me sometimes. I'm getting there. And I do you know that I'm happening four times where the people are like, have you gone? What how's your groceries? Shopping Are you? Are you taking a fast because you've not gone I'm just lazy, human and lazy like include is just not as much of a driver for me but unless it goes into like I need to make sure I feel good in my body. And I know that intermittent fasting is a good thing. So sometimes I lean on that, in my laziness, the the creative side, took a huge hit after her feedback. And it took me like three or four months to really get momentum back into the story. And to pull it together to what it is in its current format. That there's that fun thing. And then so I ended up at the time, I was in Delano, Georgia, while I started in New Hampshire went to the Wonga, they went to Tennessee, Kentucky area, and then came back up to New Hampshire. And just Robert Robert wrote, and I took from April to the end of August to do that. And I like was barely a human to anybody. like legit, I was like, I'm working. I'm just, I'm in my worlds guys. I gotta get this done. I feel so grateful for the friends that are still with me. I'll say that. And then the like, I finished the novel and I hit it off my editor. And I planned to celebrate this, it just coincided. I booked a trip during COVID That got rescheduled. And so I was going to hike Salkantay pass and Peru go to Machu Picchu, and then hike Rainbow Mountain. And it's all it was already all purchased. And I just had to like, reschedule all of the things that I did. So once I handed off my manuscript to my editor, and she knew this is where I'm leading into a catastrophe here. Full warning, the I handed it off to the editor, and she was gonna give the give it back to me on September 14. I got back I think on that day or the day before from my my adventures in Peru. Well, I got an email on so bear that she's today's like, all right. I think it was two days, she was gonna be late. And then I hear from her. And so I email her midweek the next week or towards the end of it, and she's like, Yeah, it's gonna be a little later. Okay, so I'm supposed to post in my head. I was going to publish it on October 11. And she knew that. So two more days. So two mornings, two more days. Two more days. I'm like panicking. feel my pain here. It gets worse. It gets worse. It's awesome. And so I talked to her and I was like, you know, Prusa like, I need this book published before November because I got this thing in November for the book that I did. So like, you know, I'm gonna get published before. So let's, let's pick a date, October 22. And that's what I'm publishing it. So you've got a few more days, but you got to give it to me. Two more days. days, two more days. So I'm like trying not to be a panic hot mess. I'm pretty, pretty panic fatness anyway. And in the interim, my cousin shows up to mass it to like New Hampshire and I visit him. And he's like, Hey, you want to go on a spontaneous trip with me? And I was like, Yeah, I have your laptop. I have my laptop and everything I would have been like, maybe no, I literally left the diner. I met him in in like, up back. I don't know where we were Plymouth, somewhere north of Dover, New Hampshire, and drove all the way down to the first Massachusetts and then down to Kentucky that night. Anyway, we started this road trip with him his two kids may. And I'm waiting, I'm waiting. It's October 11. And I'm waiting, my gosh. I'm waiting and I'm trying not to panic. And I'm waiting. And I have my laptop with me. And they all know that I'm going to work on this. And on Friday, the 14th My editor gives me the novel. And of course, it's the busiest day we're in South Dakota, we're doing all of these fun things. And then we start when I start night driving that night and so I get it mid day. And I did the really bad I this was a bad choice. I set up pre order on Amazon for 1022. So I had to get it on. And I didn't know the repercussions because I walk into this like a giant like a bull in china shop. I just, I just follow my face until I learn a lesson. So okay, so I have to get my book uploaded to Amazon by sometime on am on the 17th whatever I get. I get it on the 14th and I it's midday. So first thing I do is read her editorial assessment where she tells me the map that I had is has like two spelling errors in it. And there's no compass all of these things wrong with it and I thought it was a beautiful map and it is a beautiful map. I'm grateful for the for the designer, but he I emailed him and I was like, everyone, this is what this is everything that she said wrong, knowing that's probably gonna go to print anyway. Anyway, priority we need is a spelling errors, he emails me back a blank map. And he tells me he's moving and they can't help me until November out. Oh, yeah. So all right. I then luckily, I was talking with my book cover designer. And so she I was like, oh my god, man, I just helped me. And so she did my book cover designers. And also, literally, I'm so grateful for everybody. So she, she fixed just the spelling errors, and I can release dealt with that. My edit then I didn't have time, right. I had I work alone and quiet. And I'm constantly with like music and you know, so I'm in a car. It's midday. It's loud. And they should be having fun. And I'm not going to try to dampen their fun. And we're doing things and so I get accepted by my father and hit accept all to the changes. And then I systematic. Yes, your face is awesome, too. Scary, right? Oh, well, we'll get into it. So then, when I hit every single comment in the letter, as well as in the actual draft, resolve them and send it off to proofreaders and I did this as quickly as I could humanely. humanely do I knew I couldn't read it. I also I also something about me is when I'm super like panicky, elevated and like really insecure. I like my brain just shuts off. So even if I was reading it, I was too like I was it wasn't going to imprint. So I send it out to my proofreaders and we finish the really, really busy end of the trip right up into the 17th. Because that's how it was. And I get home I haven't heard a peep from my from my proofreaders and their friends, so I didn't expect them to drop their lives and do this. I did touch base with one and he couldn't touch it until the next week. And then the other was, again, I could I use a writing platform called books ago, so I could see what she read. And she'd only read a chapter and I was like, Okay, so in my panic, I posted something on Facebook looking for proofreaders on the fly. And to heute to beautiful humans pumped up. And then the rest of the time I learned how to format the big books to go helps me but I had no idea what I was doing for ebooks. So my brother also helped me and then I uploaded it on to Amazon with like 20 minutes to spare. Like, yes, yes. And I was very anxious about it. So the next day, literally, I wake up to your critical errors in your manuscript. My editor had put in parentheses in two different spots in the book, you need to add detail here, Asterix and had an attached a comment to it. So when I was going through all of that, I missed it. So now I'm like, wearing a panic, I could deal with something that was like, you know, small, but this felt really big, right? I try for I really strive for perfection, it's something I need to work on. Anyway, I am constantly working on because this is a great example of how it cannot be perfect. I fix those errors. And one of the one of the people that helped me that stood out from that Facebook group was an editor and she offered to proofread it for like a like a literal proofread, edit. And so we did that on the fly. And her edits but I was doing I was pulling them out because I didn't know her. I hadn't worked with her before. And I didn't like how she changed some of my wording. So I was pulling out a chapter at a time popping it into because she couldn't it's too long of a manuscript to do at once. So she was giving me sections to fix. So then I was doing line by line edits, accepting you know, finalizing those things. And then I was copying and pasting it and putting it back into books ago. Okay, so I did this to 45% of my pay for edit because at that point, she burned out and it was Friday right before so I thought I could Well, I thought I could then take the manuscript and then upload it to Amazon and they would just fix like I would I would food just replace it right? No. So Amazon, the Amazon when they do their pre orders now again, bull in a china shop, Krista? I didn't realize that when you put for pre order your pre order, locks any changes 72 hours before they release the book. So I didn't realize that that was why the countdown was. So my brothers like I never had this happen to me, my brother is also an author. So so I'm having a meltdown, because I've talked like three Amazon wraps, there's nothing they can do to help me out. Like, the only way to resolve this is to stay up until the release the book that night, whatever time and then immediately upload this new draft to Amazon and home seen. Yeah. And hope that they do. Like, approve it. And so people when they do download it, because you know, pre sales, they get the non critical error book. So I did that, because I there was no other option, right? I'm a hot mess. At this point, you should not doing very well. Very emotional. And so I get that done. And I'm not telling anybody, I'm releasing the book. I've got a few people in the newsletter at this point. But other than that, nobody really knows. So once I figure out like once, I realized that they took the copy that I had sent in, I was relieved. And I ordered a proof like a physical proof. And I walked away from the book, I didn't look at it anymore. The book arrived, the physical proof from Amazon arrived on like the 27th of that week of October. And so I started reading it. I get to chapter five. And I realize I didn't copy and paste three fourths chapter five. Now, I did it in a way that that didn't look like I guess, if you didn't know it wasn't going to be, you would have known that. So that was just coincidence. That happened. And then, and then as I got to chapter 14, and 15, I just got enraged. 15, my editor, I'd like cut and parsed and then redid the whole redid the whole chapter. And like, we get it, and I wasn't expecting it. But to I didn't like it. And so I didn't think I had it, I could do anything to change that. I what I could do is make some minor changes, like minor changes in what was done, and then move on. But I stopped reading at that point, because I hated my book. And I was so angry at everything. You know, you hear often, you know if it's supposed to be it's gonna be easy for you. If that's such a lie. kind of BS. Yeah. Yeah, there's gonna be easy moments in it, and it will feel good. But there's gonna be a lot of hard moments too. And there's gonna make it easy. I don't think we ever earn anything without having persistence and dedication and like falling on our faces over and over and over. I totally get that. In fact, I was thinking as you told the story, you have a moment I think, and I've been in this position because i i format and publish a lot of books. Everything always goes wrong, and you're just like, Will this ever be over really ever get it done? And you do you learn persistence? You do? Because what else can you do? But it sounds horrific. Like it just kept happening? You know, it's like something else. Oh, yeah. Okay, so I, I get a fan. I fix the errors, I took 100% of my pay for proofreaders stuff. I integrated it at that point. And then I uploaded it. And I walked away. And I hated that book. And I did what I needed to do in November with it. And I couldn't look at it. I was so every time so so so angry. And then I got back from a writing conference in Vegas, and I then started reading the novella for it. And then then I shipped it off to write in Washington. And I play that all book too, because the book was pretty complex. So falling off, like tracking all of those threads, for me needs to be really deliberative, which takes away from some of the fun creative writing, because yes, but so again, that I was ready, locked and loaded for Book Two, but I made myself read book one, recover, because this is February because there are things that that I 100% Forgot. And I would not have been able to throw it in if I hadn't gotten the feel of the book again. Right. And I've been avoiding it for months. So I did that. And the same visceral angry reaction happened at 1415. So pull up the, the my my editor presses edit and she cut like for like when I say like five to seven pages and I say that because I have increased the font size because my so that messes up the pages, but a lot of pages from 14 including a scene that was her first magic you seen that in it, I she had to come to a decision and she's staring at a at a route and like our rock that's being encircled by life's route. And she's, she's thinking how and this fissures in the rock, her life's roots are just squeezing her. And she can relate to being that rock. Right and, and so she deleted that. But I kept all of the references. I continued onward about the rootin rock. And so I like things like that happened that. I mean, she's amazing. She's amazing, she helps me out so much. I wish she just kicked it back to me, her process is different. We talked about AdSense and I was 100% still work 100% Work with her still. And I'm grateful for all of this. But um, so I kept on going through the book. And at one point, I realized this, I need to pull it from the market. And I'm going to fix it. Oh, I get a second way. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is not this is frowned upon, if people don't know. But I but I do hear you the angry feeling never went away, and you wouldn't have been happy with it. I didn't want this. Well, there's two things I wanted more. One is this is my new career, right. And I'm I take it very seriously and want to put out a product that feels good to me. But to I also didn't want these energies of all of those years of accumulated stress and stressing all of my catastrophes kind of trailing along into book two and three in the rest of the series, I was done with the drama. I think it's hilarious now was not then there was a lot of times, I'm not much of a crier, but I've cried a lot. And that's fine. I mean, it's good to let things out. And so by make and I also, I'm a huge about manifesting. So I 100% belief that there is going to be a lot of readers that will read my book. And I would rather have them read the book that feels right and do it right from the beginning, even though it couldn't have been from like the first 100 that bought the book. And I'm very grateful and humble for those who supported me about that first book. So I wanted to fix it now before it went wide, and I couldn't do it. That's smart. But it was a hard decision, because a lot of people spent good money on my book. And I felt bad that I'm not going to get a different version. But I sat, sat on the decision made it and understood. And then I took each chapter of each chapter out, I tweaked each chapter just a tad or maybe some more in certain chapters. And while doing that, I sat through all of the frustrating emotion, the amount of pressure I had, like, I need to do this now and just be ready now it should be done. It's Oh, I'm so enraged. It's not perfect. Whatever was still bad. I actually fell in love with my book and I go to work, it could work for me. It's no perfect. It's still my debut novel. And I'm sure plenty people can tear it apart and you know, have added if that's what you want to do. And I want to direct your energy. But the I appreciate it if you kept that energy to you though. But the it cleared all of that for me to now move onward with everything. Because after I did that full, very intense of edit, I then edited stared for the last time, and then I'm not moving. And then I moved. I moved into book two. So I wrote about just shy of 40,000 words. 31,000 words at the beginning. So that's just the beginning of book two. It's probably going to be 150,000. Maybe more. We'll find out. And, and I like Laredo I want. I want I want to feel good about all of it. I should do. It's your baby, huh. And so that's my son story. And now, I do a Kickstarter, or I launch the Kickstarter, and that was, by all accounts very successful. And now I'm launching the actual book. On the fourth. It's the second launch, but this one I'm actually putting time and energy into trying. I'm not scared. I'm not scared to not be seen. I'm not. I was scared to be seen. I was scared to say hey, here's my book. I was scared to like maybe I was scared of being judged. Definitely. We all feel that. But it's huge because it's a whole new thing for you. And you're putting yourself out there. Three, so I have three in the main trilogy. It's going to be so but this, this is me nerding out on you right now. So it's spark thunder and soar. And because I'm Spark is where she's awoken into her gift, her magic sunder is because we all have to go awoke in it doesn't mean that everything's easy, we have to split apart and drop the things that no longer serve. So, and this is all while other things are going on in this book, and then sore is her integration and kind of realizing her power, and then spared is the novel. And that happens when she is 18. So the main trilogy is when she's 24. This goes back in time. And it is it's a different story and a different feel to it. And so she has to battle being fi and assassin going into a situation where I guess I'll just say I'm trying to like avoid the context of it. But so fie agrees to go undercover into a sex trafficking organization to help break it down. But she can't go in as Phoebe assassin and just do her normal assassin like thing she has to go in and as her alter ego her like, and that's lady orphan and Lady orphan is weak and sick and timid. And she's got an overt well be does to have an aversion to touch. And she doesn't like to speak and, and somebody in the organization, the head guy of the organization is obsessed with fees, he collects the look alikes. And so far, he agrees to go in because they would be able to identify him. She's pretty sneaky in general. So like, they think that she's given permission to kill him if she needs to. But, but she doesn't want to because she wants to succeed and taking down the whole organization. Who else is in right? So she's now locked into this like this more of an internal battle between like, her lady or feeling like she's got trauma behind her. And these this, like I walk a fine line. And it's better read after spark because you can possibly probably pick up the nuances of where they actually use magic to make sure that she is safe. But they crossed the line of it. And so and so like, and then she starts to think so the book spared she starts to think because there's you'll have to read it. But like, if my life was different, it would be worse. Where you'd have to read the book, The novella, but if they combined life with Grom, it probably got you permanent Abram. So my life had grown was pretty bad. And if he hadn't done all of these things, and I hadn't met Kira, and I hadn't said things like I tried to, like put in these levels of. And I do hear that a little bit. What I hear from other people too, is when you get deep enough and empathetic enough with your characters, they tell you what they want to say and do. And you're sort of waiting for that. It's so cool. Because that process is the real deal. You know, you don't just approach it from outside, you get so into it that they tell you Did you always like fantasy, and sci fi? Or what did you read? grow out? So my grandmother, and my grandmother was a professor in English, she was actually the lady. You okay. And so she, she influenced me on some of the work so that I you know, Lord of the Rings, I remember reading with her The Hobbit, but also was an avid romance reader advocate. We buried her with a romance book. And so I but she was also an avid writer herself story, I am making it a story. I'm sorry that I'm so verbose here was really good friends with Andre Norton. And so I'm not sure if you're know, Andre, she's a fantasy owner. Okay, back in the day, and Andre was male name because at the time, they wouldn't let females publish the work. And so she was friends with they've exchanged work and she I would read a lot of her work. And I was influenced by her fantasy. So I when I was young, that was my interesting background. Yeah. I was obsessed with sci fi as a child. I read a lot of sci fi. And I think it just goes right in. I mean, I just like effortlessly moved into fantasy. Because it's, it's just this beautiful connection. But yeah, there's a there's a background, and it's sort of genetic. Being a writer. Yeah, I'm really my grandmother was a writer. My dad is a writer. My brother is a writer. I've got a lot of creatives. I've got a cousin who's in LA doing acting. I've got another cousin who's built something that's so is there anything that you would like to share with the Our listeners about I think that you really have a grasp on the whole painful process of bringing a book to the world. Is there any advice that you would give somebody who's considering writing a book or in the midst of writing a book? Well, I have a lot of killer question I realized, but I just want to leave it open for you. Sure, lessons I learned upfront. One, don't do pre orders unless you have an actual book. And, okay, a month or two ahead, right? Start there. But if you have a dream, and you are uncertain, and there are people around you that aren't supportive of it, then like, and I was talking about this with somebody earlier today, it could be echoes, like they don't know your writing, they just keep interrupting your writing. Find out find a way to surround yourself with what you need in the time that you're writing, and also eventually find your tribe of writers because we're constantly told that being creative, we have to do it alone, writers do things alone, I embody that for a long time I was alone. And I'll say very, I was too scared to identify, and to like, be like, Hey, I'm here, I wouldn't have even known how to interact. So if that's you, I totally understand, feel free to email me. I'll give you an energetic hug. Like, we're not alone. The reality is, there are groups out there of people, so many. So many, like, I'll drop one Facebook group that I am a part of, and I'm pretty, I feel really grateful to be a part of, because I think their energy is all of us rising together, and they help people rise together. And they're very clear on boundaries with it is 20 books to 50k. I'm not sure if you've heard of it. But that program is that that group is awesome. Those people, you can just drop in and say, I've got a problem, or I'm doing really good, you can just browse through people's success stories where they literally break down what they did, to like dollar amounts, not mine. And so you can, you can understand that there's this is a huge business side, instead of the writing side alone. Because once you have a book, now you have to, like sell it, they had to do other things. And that's, I avoid social media like the plague. I was very just, it was that outreaching the communication kind of the hermit in me, it's really hard. If you're not naturally into it, it's very difficult. But it's an it's a mandatory part of marketing. Now in a mandatory part of letting people get to know you, it's very hard. I get it. It's a challenge. So So something I would recommend for writers now is that is two things. Two things on the marketing side. One is will be part of groups that will talk to you about marketing, and what and like listen, and look and like pick up cues. Social media isn't for your friends and family. Social media is for your soon to be empire. Right. And so you want those clients, those, those supporters of yours to, that's who you're talking to, you're not talking to your friends and family. They may be part of that for sure. But you're doing something different. And so you need to make sure and by doing that you can start. You can start now, it doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, it's probably better if you make it not perfect. So then it eases the strain, right? And then you do you find your rhythm and your scheduled posting. And you do your thing there. And then they there's there's actually a lot. As a writer, we have to always take care of ourselves first. And it's I've heard of stories, I luckily haven't had this happen to me where well, I'd have to have a workout for yarded. But piracy of works is a thing. As well as it's a tough thing, unfortunately. And if you're enrolled in Kindle Unlimited, it becomes more of a thing, because then they'll pull your book off the market, because somebody's priority to organize on a Google site. And so you can lose a lot of money. But I've also heard stories and I think this is also horrible where other authors will report to Amazon that you that there's copyright infringement with your book to pull your book off the market for competition. All I say is make sure you do the right thing for you with that if you have an LLC and there's a copyright infringement, you're financially protected by that. So that there's small things that you can do that but can set you up slowly as you move forward in your career as a writer, and to know that like those people are are like the tiny tadpoles I think in the fish of the sea. There are many more really good hearted people like I, the other day, I put out a cut scene in one of my newsletters. And I've never done that before. But I cut it from Book Two, because I had a dev ed developmental edit done on book to use partial portion of it, I have no idea how to connect to people. So I literally shot a woman on Facebook that I'm part of her Facebook group. I've talked to her maybe once or twice when I when I like author questions when I released my first book initially, and she within like an hour, she sent me what she did, like broke it down gate like literally replicated, that people are so kind. Yes. More of them. Right. This is such good advice. Such practical good advice. So I think people will really be grateful, I think you'll save some people some time. So that's fantastic. That you this my favorite thing when somebody goes through stuff and then shares and I think most people are good hearted. You know, it's, we wouldn't have survived as a species if we weren't, if we hadn't, you know, selected for altruism. That's what I always say like, how would we have survived if we weren't connected and then supportive of each other? We wouldn't. So the percentage of people who are mean, is small. I mean, those are the ones that get the press. Those are the ones we talk about. But in reality, most people aren't, are good hearted. That's what I find. Yeah. And they give us the opportunities to learn there are programs out there to protect your work from piracy. And, like there are things out there that like, you know, if you do your LLC, you're that's a level of protection. It's, it's, and you will have so many more people standing up for you and help and like, oh, like, this is what you should do. This is how we can. It's yeah, fabulous. Yeah, that's fantastic. What a what a story. My goodness, I just was like, enthralled because I don't know these I don't know the reality of what it's like to bring something of a work of fiction to its conclusion and who knew? I love your story. And I love where you're at right now. And I can't wait to see you know, books two and three, and that perhaps memoir unraveling that might be coming. So I'll put everything we talked about in the show notes, and I'll put your contact info. And thank you so much. It was like really cool. Likewise, thank you for having me. super appreciate it.