Season 2025: Episode 9: Elvira Perez Romero: One question launched her search for a new life

Life and Career Coach Elvira P. Romero helps others find a career and /or life that fits them better. She should know -- an interesting question from her boyfriend started her own journey for a new life. She pivoted through a few careers before landing on the perfect one for her -- career and life coach. 

She now shares what she learned with her clients and talks about how all of us can create a short- and long-term plan,  be accountable to others, and achieve success.

How to Get in Touch with Elvira:

Elvira P. Romero, Life & Career Coach

Email: elvira@elvirapromero.com
Website: www.elvirapromero.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elvira.Emailp.romero/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mente.inquieta.716

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Original music "Saturday Sway" by Brendan Talian (for all interviews before 2025)

Transcript

Unknown: 0:33

I Hello and welcome to the storied human. My guest today is Elvira Perez Romero. She's a life coach. Elvira's goal is to inspire others to create a life they truly love. She said that asking a simple question, why do you want to have so much money completely changed the course of her life. At the time, she was thriving in hospitality, climbing the ladder with a plan she had worked on for years, but that question stopped her in her tracks, and made her re evaluate everything, and sent her on a journey to rediscover who she was and what truly mattered to her. Since then, she has transitioned from hospital hospitality to marketing and operations in personal development and eventually to data while building her own coaching business. It's been a journey of evolving passions, overcoming self doubt and redefining what success means to her. She now helps others with practical insights on creating Transition Plans, embracing the power of uncertainty and even turning lack of confidence into a strength. Welcome. Elvira, it's great to talk to you today. Well, Lynne, thank you very much for having me. I'm really glad to be here. It's really good to hear your story. I love to start with the moment somebody decides to make a change. It's very brave to make a change and and and step out of your comfort zone. What made you ask that question, that question about money, like, did that just come into your head? Or did something prompt that? Well, it was my boyfriend at the time. He's still my boyfriend, um, but we have just started, and he was the complete opposite of me. So I was, I've always been really career and success driven and focused, and he was more of traveling, living, and like he was, I didn't care that much about career. And one day we were talking, and he asked me this question of like you are the least materialistic person I know, why do you want so much money? And I think I've never been asked this question. I never thought about it. I guess it was never about money for me. Well, no that now, but it was never about money. It was about I guess having freedom I took me a long time to realize that, but yeah, that was the question that changed everything. Made me rethink everything in my life again. I call it my quarter life crisis. Isn't that amazing that somebody could just Well, someone that you trust and knows you can ask you a question that just sort of turns everything around. But I think it's very brave of you to follow that question, and then a lot of us might think about that question, but we don't change our lives. Where do you get that bravery to to make those big changes? I mean, you had a successful career. You were doing great. How do you make that change? That's a great question, and thank you. I appreciate the compliment. I think for me, since I was a kid, I think for me, even though career was really important, probably because it was really important, as I have always been clear about the fact that I needed a career that fit my life. I needed a career that made me happy. And to be honest, I studied hospitality. I loved it. That's why I went into it. I think the change became when I changed myself, I realized that the plan I had and that it was going really well. It didn't fit me anymore. And I think the bravery comes from I don't know. I don't know. Is this bravery, or is this being a scared of regretting things and not living my best life? I think I'm more scared of not doing as much as I can that I am scared of change. Yeah. So, yeah, that's so good, yeah. And I love that you recognize that you're like, Well, I'm, you know, I started this because I like it. I've always been happy at it, but now the new me maybe isn't fitting the old career, but I do still. Think a lot of us are afraid and don't make those moves. I'm sensing that there's something in you that you were able to do that, and now you help other people do that, which is so great. You help other people find what they need to make themselves happy. I mean, we only have one life, right? That's probably where you were at, right? I only have one life, and it might be scary to change, but I want to be my full self. That's what it sounds like. I want to be the real Elvira. Yeah, definitely. And you know, part of the coaching itself is also helping other people realize that a lot of the things we believe are just missed like, we have grown up to believe that there is only one career path and one linear path, and that we get a career decided when we are 18 year olds, like, like, we change so much from when we are 18 That is crazy that you are going to choose a career, and that career is going to make you happy for the rest of your lives, right? And I think things are changing a lot now, but I think people my age over there, and maybe not as much younger people, but still, there is this belief of you choose a career that is what you do. Your career is not something that needs to make you happy, it's just something that needs to make you money. You cannot change because you are too old for start, and all those things are just belief that we have that are not true, but you can change now, I'm not saying it's easy, and I'm not saying it's gonna happen in six months or in a year. So at the end of the day, it's more about the journey rather than the destination, which is something we have to learn as well. I definitely have ice it's more about enjoying that journey and making sure that what you are doing fits with the person you are and makes you happy and it allows you to do the things that are important for you, right? Because we are all different. What's important for me might not be important for the people like for me, it's really important to have freedom, to have flexibility, to be my own boss, because I want to do things my way, right? That might be completely different for someone else, but unless you explore those things, you explore your values, you explore what's important to you, your strengths. Unless you explore out of all of those, it's really hard to decide what to do, and you end up just doing whatever you have been doing for a long time. So true. If you don't ask the questions, right? We get set on a path, and we choose safety, right? We might not love what we do, but we're safe, and we're making money, and we we have control over it, or we think we do. But yeah, as you're talking, I'm thinking, yeah, we're made to decide these things at 18 years old, right? And nobody says to you, when you're 18, like, well, what would make you happy? Nobody says that. Nobody says, like, Well, what I mean? I remember some career testing was done, and people would identify, like, maybe what you were good at. But one interesting thing I found is I'm good at some things that I don't like. You know what I mean? Right? Just because you're good at it doesn't mean you like it. Yeah, you know what I'm doing. So I'm creating a program now that we are going to that I'm going to deliver in a in a charity helping young women identify their career pathways. And we are using the strength profile. And within the strength profile, you have things that you are really good at and that you enjoy since you are good at but you didn't know things that you are good at but you don't enjoy, and things and your weaknesses, right? And I think that's really true. Like, just because you are good at something, it doesn't mean you have to do that if you don't enjoy it. I think the fact that you enjoy is more important than the fact that you are good at something. And also, the other thing is, with the with all of those test career paths, and I'm always a little bit skeptical, because I think they are still really linear, like if you are good at numbers, you go into accounting, like for example, this is probably an education problem, but this could be a whole different conversation. But for me, for example, using my own experience, I used to love psychology, philosophy in a school in university, loved it. I just never went into it because I didn't want to be a psychologist at the time, but I will have love, for example, doing research. But no one told me you could do that, right? I didn't. I didn't know about it because I didn't have any psychologists around me. I just probably should have done some research as well, right? That's all me. But, yeah. I feel like there's so many things also, with new technologies, with the wall of work changes so fast. There's so many different things that you can do with one strength or skill that there is no about these are your strengths. These are your careers. These are your strengths. Let's be creative as well about all the things you can do with them that's so good. So there's lot, a lot more to it than just identifying, you know, oh, you scored high on this test. You might do all kinds of things that's really interesting. My my daughter majored in psychology, and what she loved was the research part. And she had never known either that there was so much of that that you could do, and she found she really loved that. But again, we go through changes. We go through, you know, we have different strengths at different times in our lives. We want different things. I mean, do you now this program? I noticed when you were describing it, you were sort of putting up quadrants. You know, I was thinking you were seeing, like, yeah, there are quadrants. Like, if you picture like a square with four areas, that's so cool that those things interact with each other. And it's not simple. I think that's what's so crazy, is you get put in a box. Sometimes it's not simple. And you're reminding me when I was really young, we were, like, English people or math people. That's what it was you were, you were good at English, or you were good at math. And that's ridiculous. Like, I got to college, and I never was that good in math, but I was very good in logic. I love logic, and it made a lot of sense to me. And nobody ever told me, like, well, that's, you know, kind of mathematical, the way people can think logically. And it ended up being part of my career now, which is technical writing, because I have that aptitude. So we feel like, if we did a better job, like, what you're trying to help people with, if we did more of that with with ju with young people, that it would just be a better world, like, if people, we need people who are expressing their talent and happy people, right? We don't need people who are miserable, right, all day doing something they might be good at, but they don't like. That doesn't help the world. So, I mean, not to be overly dramatic, but we have gifts, right? We all have gifts. And if we're happy and we're expressing those gifts, it's just better for everybody, better for the company, better for the person. Yeah, absolutely. Lynne, absolutely. And the other thing as well is this, this concept of how, how much we change ourselves, right? You mentioned that our strengths change, but we change in so many aspects. If you think back 20 years ago, or if I think back about myself when I was 18, like what I wanted in life, what I wanted to do every day, the things that were important for me, my strengths, my skills, were completely different than what they are now, and I'm sure in another 15 years, they will be again completely different, because we change, right? We evolve. So yes, it doesn't make sense to me that we are okay with us changing, but our careers should stay the same. Careers are a big part of our life, right? We spend a third of our life working, yeah, you cannot understand why we shouldn't do that. Do something that makes us happy, right? I love that. I think, I think, I think people get stuck. And I know, for me, I just felt like, Oh, I know I have this thing and I can make money doing this thing, and I'm afraid I won't make money. Or, you know, I'm just afraid to step out. And I think a lot of people are just afraid. So how do you get people past that fear? Like, how do you help people with that fear? Definitely get down. I think there are so many areas. Like one important for me was expectations. I think I have this belief of what other people expectation of me were right, like my mom or my brother. So I remember because I studied in a private university, and I remember thinking we weren't wealthy or anything like that, so my mom and my brother and everyone on the family did that big effort to be able to afford that right? And I remember thinking, oh my god, how am I gonna tell my mom now that after spending all this money, I don't want to do this anymore? I just couldn't imagine it. And I remember telling my mind, and she went like at the time, all I knew is that I like writing. So I told my mom, Mom, I don't know. I'm not sure I'll really like hospitality or that. Want to do this anymore. And she went like, Well, what do you want to do? I said, I don't know. Am I like writing? She went like, well, if you want to write, then write. And it shifted something in me, because, like, Oh my God, I've been struggling with this for so many months now, and she didn't have any problem with it. This was all in my head. So I think that is a big part expectations. And the other thing like, don't get me wrong, I'm really realistic as well, and I understand how important money is. I understand that not everyone I had a really is easy situation, and I'm calling it easy compared to other people. But I don't have kids, I don't have a mortgage, so I kind of, even though I wasn't living in my own country, I knew that I could make it with less money than maybe other people. So this is where the transition plan comes in. I think it's important to be realistic and say, Well, hold on, this may take a year. So how much money do I really need? How much time can I invest on this? What am I really willing to sacrifice as well? Because when I was studying the coaching diploma, I did that while I had a full time job, right? That meant that every single evening I was studying. That meant that Saturday mornings were for studying. So it meant I sacrificed a lot of things. It meant that when I started my own business and reduced my hours, I went into a part time freelance job, it meant I had less money. So I also had to make a plan and say, All right, what? Where can I say, How much money do I really need? Like, all those things are part of the transition plan that I call it right, and it's good to think about all these things ahead of time. We help you be organized, but also helps you create the long term plan, but work on the short term goals as well. So yeah, that is part of what I help people with, is figuring all this out and helping also stay accountable and motivated, because it's really hard to create a long term plan. I'm talking one, two to five years and stay motivated. So long term plan, shorten task, weekly, weekly goals, and stay in track. Yeah, while you achieve the big goal, that makes a lot of sense. And I've noticed I've taken some courses the last couple of years, and I started with the podcasting course, and I ended up with accountability partners, and that's a huge part of it. I wanted to to highlight that if it a huge part of having a coach is having that accountability, and if we don't have that, I just think if you owe somebody something like you know you're going to be talking to someone, you make sure you do the thing, you know, and it's very hard on your own. Yeah, I've talked to a lot of people since I've, you know, ventured into this world of taking courses and having accountability partners and meeting with people. I do talk to people. I talk to friends who, you know, they want to do similar things to me, but they want to sit in their room right in front of their computer and have it magically start. I mean, I just said, nobody does this alone. Nobody. It's really hard to do this alone. Definitely, definitely, Lynne, like, if I still have a coach myself, right? And I have mentors, and I have people that keeps me accountable. Because the reality is, we all have busy life, right? And we is always easy to sit in front of the TV or what is standing down here in London. So it's always nicer to go out and be outside in the sun, right? This is what coaching helps. It helps you, because through the session, you explore motivation, but you also create a plan that keeps you accountable. And then, as you said, you have that person that you need to be accountable to next week or in two weeks time. And no one likes no one likes to say, Oh, God, I didn't do what I said I was gonna do. So it's a lot harder to don't do something when you have said it to another person. So yeah, accountability is a big part. It's something that all of my clients, no matter the goal, stay, is the one big thing on on coaching is the accountability part. It's just so good, and I didn't understand it, and now I do and I think it helps people so much, because it moves you along in a way that you might not do. And also I just think a coach helps you see things that you didn't see. It's just really hard to see yourself from outside. You know, it's hard to objectively see your life. And so if you talk to a. Coach, and they help you see that. I also love the long term goal, but the short term actions, that's great. Yeah. So if, I mean, even if you're a mother with little kids and you want this whole different life, and you don't have a lot of time or money to make that happen, I like the idea that she could set a long term goal and know that she's on the path, and when she has more time later, she could do some things now, right? I mean, what I'm trying to say is we can all start from where we are, as long as we have someone like you to help us plan that out. I just like that it's not random that you're not, you know, because the the opposite is you're it's random, like you're just dealing with things that come at you. You're reacting. You're in your life, and things happen, and you're just reacting. And you don't have that path or that that long term goal, and I think that gets it gets depressing, you know, you're just like fighting battles every day, and it's all the same, reacting, yeah, and the thing is, when you have a long term plan, which is something I love doing, right? And I do like to plan long term but just because I think if you know where you're going, decisions become easier, right? Let me give you an example of this. So when I started changing careers, I had no clue what I wanted to do, nothing whatsoever. I only knew that I like writing and that I wanted to have to do something that I could do on my own with a computer. That's all I knew. Now along the way, there have been many different opportunities, many different routes that I could take. The only thing that made those decisions easier and clearer for me where that I knew what I wanted in the end. So for example, and I have this job, I was great, and I was looking to so I could have grow on that role, but I also knew that I couldn't, that I couldn't do that remotely over time so automatically, that that becomes unknown for me, because I know it doesn't fit what I want long term. That is where the the fitting your life comes from, right? It comes from, if you know what you want, it's easier to make decisions. So if you know that what you want is to be able to work from home, then if you have two two job options, and one of them allows you to work from home, and the other one doesn't what the decision is pretty easy, right? It's, I love that idea that you you do, you know, once you have a plan, then it makes more sense. Each decision is is easier because it's going to fit or it's not going to fit, and, yeah, it gives you a little control over how things are going, which people feel better when they're when they're more in control of of their life and they're everyone wants to be headed somewhere, right? We want a goal. And I wanted to also mention that some of us will stay in in the corporate world or or working at a full time job, but you still can find a way to make that fit you better, and maybe move into an area that you like better. So it's not about becoming an entrepreneur necessarily. Not everybody is built for that. It's a way of just becoming happier with what you're doing wherever you are. Yeah, definitely it doesn't have to be about becoming an entrepreneur. It can be like if you have a corporate job, that's great, right? It's just about, are you actually doing what you want to do? Because there might be a chance that you are doing a role that fits your strengths but fits the strengths that you don't like. So how about maybe preparing to have a conversation with your boss, talk to your boss and say, hey, you know what? I do love the company I want to say, but I actually would love to try and move to a different department, right? All of those things still count as creating a career that you love, right? So at the end of the day, about doing something that makes you happy. So this is, this is so interesting to me. Now, does coaching make you happy? Love it to Eunice. Doesn't seem like it, it seemed good. Makes me really nervous. Because nervous about because, at the end of the day, the reason I do this is because I want to help people, right? So it makes you, it makes it almost like, really important and, and it's like, oh my god, I really want my clients to succeed. So it's really, really nerve wracking sometimes when you are preparing for the same. For example, is like, all right, I need to bring my best stuff to it, but the reward after it, or the reward when they finish their sessions and the full program, they come to you like, oh my god, I managed to do this or do that. Like I also did a few months ago. I did a couple of case studies. I like to do surveys at the beginning and at the end of the programs. And I measure not only the goal, but like self confidence, self efficacy, life satisfaction. And it's just so rewarding to see how someone who isn't even focusing on life satisfaction in the coaching, but how life satisfaction and self confidence increase by focusing on their goals. So that is really rewarding, which makes me really happy. I love what I do, definitely. But yeah, it's also it puts pressure on you, because you want to get better all the time, and you want to be prepared for every single session and help as much as you want, right? Yeah, does sound a little scary, but it sounds so rewarding. I'm very intrigued too, that you've always had those social skills. You've always had people skills. You did great in hospitality, and now you use those people skills in something that's even more rewarding. And what a great lesson that is. It's sort of what we're talking about, right? You're good at it, and you found an even better way to use those skills. And I love that you help people, and you get that nice feeling like, I really help this person, you know. And it's great that you do the metrics that you measure in the beginning and the end so they can, they can see too, like, Oh, I feel so much more confident. I feel like, you know, I'm happier with where I'm going, and that you actually can sort of quantify how you help them. So it's, it just sounds like you moved yourself into a place where it's so much better for you, and I love that it's better for you to help others. That's, that's a win. Win. Elvira, yeah, definitely. And, and it talks volumes about transferable skills, right? Like, as you, as you said, I have those people skill. I was, that was what made me great as hospitality, it was people skills. And then sometimes I actually think about this quite a lot. It's like, it's crazy that I have been able to transfer my skills from hospitality to coaching, which are miles apart, right? But yeah, it's really rewarding, and that part of having your own business that I don't particularly enjoy. But yeah, I think at the end of the day, you put it on a balance, which I like to do, the pros outweighs the cons. And the part of talking to people, helping them get better, helping them believe in themselves, seeing how their faces light up when they are talking about the things they like, yeah, seeing them having those aha moments when they realize something, right? As you said before, it's difficult to realize things when you are talking to yourself, you need an outsider to do that for you. So, yeah, Tata, is great. That's so great. I love hearing how how you made the change and how you're helping others. Is there anything else you want to tell people about your your life, or your coaching or Yeah, I think, well, we talk quite a lot, but I think the one thing that I would tell is it is never too late. I think think about the journey ahead, and don't be scared of change, because change happen anyways. It's not that you stay in a position and nothing is going to change. I was just talking to someone the other day. They have been let go from the company after 17 years. So, you know, life change, but if you are thinking about changing, might as well control the change as much as you can. Yeah. So, yeah, I think my last thing is inspiring people and telling people to believe in themselves and go for what they really want, because at the end of the day, they are going to look back. And everyone wants to look back and be proud and happy with the life, right? So true. So how can people get in touch with you? Do you have a website? So, yes, I have a website. Is www Elvira P romero.com, okay, and then I I am on Instagram as well. Thing is at Elvira, dot P dot Romero, and on LinkedIn as well. Is terrace Romero thing as well. Okay, very good. Thank you for sharing all that. I really appreciate it. I think you've helped people. Think about all kinds of things and how they might want to get a little more control over their goals and their life. Thank you so much. Lynne, I'm really glad that we could have this conversation. We'll enjoy talking to you same here. Good luck to you. Thank you. Bye.